Alien Message Re: Trucking

Message from outer space.

Subject: πŸššπŸš€πŸ›Έ CVSA Inspection Intergalactic Bulletin – May 16-18, 2023 πŸ›ΈπŸš€πŸšš

Greetings, Earthling! πŸ‘½ This message has been transmitted through space and time to bring you important news about your terrestrial wheeled contraptions. The annual cosmic event known as the Commercial Vehicle Safety Alliance (CVSA) International Roadcheck is approaching, scheduled for your Earth dates May 16-18, 2023.

Fear not, for I come bearing crucial intelligence on this planetary inspection ritual, which focuses on your commercial motor vehicles. These inspections occur at a frequency of 15 terrestrial vehicles every Earth minute, over a 72-hour period. In Earth Year 2022, 59,026 inspections were conducted, resulting in 12,456 commercial motor vehicles and 3,714 commercial motor vehicle drivers being temporarily decommissioned.

To help you navigate the complexity of the Earth-based inspection levels, here’s a brief cosmic overview:

  1. Level I Inspections – A 37-step Earthling process that analyzes the driver’s operating credentials, requirements, and the vehicle’s mechanical fitness and regulatory compliance.
  2. Level II Inspections – A driver’s operating credentials and requirements assessment, including only vehicle inspection items that don’t require crawling beneath the vehicle.
  3. Level III Inspections – A scan of the driver’s credentials and operating requirements.
  4. Level V Inspections – A comprehensive examination of vehicle inspection items that can be conducted without a driver present, at any location.

Now, listen carefully to the wisdom of the universe as I share how you and your Earthling drivers can prepare for the International Roadcheck:

  1. Use your telepathy to examine maintenance records, ensuring your vehicles are in top Earthly condition.
  2. Perform a time warp check to guarantee all required paperwork and permits are up to date.
  3. Hold an interstellar conference with your drivers to review safety procedures and protocols.
  4. Encourage drivers to use their X-ray vision for thorough pre-trip inspections.

By following these intergalactic instructions, you can reduce the likelihood of your vehicles or drivers being placed out of service during the International Roadcheck.

Now, I must return to my galactic duties. Remember, the fate of your Earth-based vehicles is in your hands. If you have any Earthly questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to establish contact with your trusty insurance agency. Farewell, and may the cosmic forces be with you!

Supernova regards,

Brandon Minert

United Commercial Insurance, LLC